The In-Between

Hello friends and family!

Here is a post just to say we are still here, and we are still kicking away at this adoption thing, along with a lot of other things:

 A quick note on adoption: we are in the end stages of our home study and then will be applying to agencies (fingers crossed) sometime in December! We still have fundraising to do, but have raised a little over $10,000 so far!! How absolutely incredible!!  We are still trying to come up with creative ideas for this process. So far, our friends Aaron and Minette put on an amazing poker tournament for us, I am still taking orders for Colorado flags, and of course we are playing our map guessing game! We SO APPRECIATE our friends and family and how they continue to step up.  They have given oh so generously to our adoption!

That being said, I'm going to take a page out of  Jesus Calling by Sarah Young - I was given this devotional by a friend, I had heard of it, but had never read it before.  I am so glad that she placed it in my hands. This is actually the passage from October 27, but it stuck with me:

"As you become increasingly aware of My presence, you find it easier to discern the way you should go. This is one of the practical benefits of living close to Me. Instead of wondering about what is on the road ahead or worrying what you should do if… Or when…., you can concentrate on staying in communication with Me. When you actually arrive at a choice-point, I will show you which direction to go, many people are so preoccupied with future plans and decisions that they fail to see choices they  need to make today. Without any conscious awareness , they make their habitual responses. People who live this way find a dullness creeping into their lives.They  sleepwalk through their days, following well-worn paths of routine. I, the Creator of the universe, am the most creative being imaginable. I will not leave you circling in deeply rutted paths.Instead, I will lead you along fresh trails of adventure, revealing to you things you did not know. Stay in communication with Me. Follow My guiding presence.

Psalm 32:8; Genesis 1:1"  - Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

With all of the excitement happening around us, I find myself being thankful for future blessings and sometimes forgetting the moment I'm standing in. This feeling has let a level of dullness and frustration with the current day creep right in. I needed this reminder we are led on fresh trails of adventure each and everyday when we stay in focus of God's purpose and promises. I hope it can be an encouragement to you, too! 

Now, can you believe it's November? Wowzers! I swear my friends just had babies last week not this spring and summer, Andy just started school, he couldn't possibly have already taken midterms, and I just started working at SF again a couple months ago so I shouldn't be coming up on a one year anniversary here!

Cheers to the last two months of one amazing year- here's to making it count! 

Andy and Mimi 

Here are a few of our favorite photos over the last month :) 

Murder Mystery Party at our house

Andy performs his first wedding ceremony and marries our neighbors!

Poker Fun with Minette & Aaron

Practice makes perfect? I think these babies are just forgetting to smile :)

My Lovely sister visiting 

A little Zombie fun...

Pity-Patter of My Heart

Sometimes   All of the time, things don't go how I plan. I'm an optimist with a realists vision. Because of this, the past couple of weeks it's been easy to tell myself that the money for adoption is coming and will come and that people will respond in their own right and on their own time. Heck I'm always the last to actually follow through on something but the optimist in me was slightly crushed. It was hard waiting for things to happen. My imaginative hope was that this money would be raised in a matter of days and we could focus on things like planning a nursery, other adoption to do's, and general baby excitement was quickly put to rest.  In fact, in my worse moments I wanted to proclaim this;

Don't get me wrong-- there were completely brilliant moments. Friends and family have given generously, people that we don't know or haven't spoken with in years have also donated to our adoption fund. I've been beyond humbled by the unselfish amounts people have given and the incredibly sweet words they have shared with us.


But those first few days after we made our initial fundraising post were somewhat brutal and God used them to have me turn towards Him once more. The book My Upmost for His Highest laid out the sin that was happening in my heart quite well;

"If we give way to self-pity and indulge in the luxury of misery, we remove God’s riches from our lives and hinder others from entering into His provision. No sin is worse than the sin of self-pity, because it removes God from the throne of our lives, replacing Him with our own self-interests. It causes us to open our mouths only to complain, and we simply become spiritual sponges— always absorbing, never giving, and never being satisfied. And there is nothing lovely or generous about our lives."

God reminded me that it will be His provision that gets us through this. Not my terrible planning. Not my ideas. Not my vision. It is His will, His plan, and His timing. Since I've been so gently reminded of this (no tantrum whatsoever or feelings of utter loss) an amazing thing has happened. More people have stepped up, God has moved people to do big, amazing things for us, and I have not just seen, but felt His provision. I'm no longer focused on the blurry path in front of me. 2 Corinthinas 9:8  is a reminder of the promise and good work that I feel right now:

"God can pour on the blessings in astonishing ways so that you’re ready for anything and everything, more than just ready to do what needs to be done. As one psalmist puts it,

He throws caution to the winds,

    giving to the needy in reckless abandon.

His right-living, right-giving ways

    never run out, never wear out.

This most generous God who gives seed to the farmer that becomes bread for your meals is more than extravagant with you. He gives you something you can then give away, which grows into full-formed lives, robust in God, wealthy in every way, so that you can be generous in every way, producing with us great praise to God."

So to end this post let me just put this out in the bloggesphere;  

for your response, your prayers, your time, your commitment, your hope, your resources, your encouragement, and your love. It truly means the world.  And I promise, no more pity parties, I hope. :) 

Adoption Fundraising: Dreams Come True

Do you remember that map we used from our adoption announcement?  Well, we've set it up in our den as a constant reminder that Baby Salonen is out there waiting for us. However, now we want to add something to it: YOU.  Many of you probably know Andy and I love to play games so we decided to come up with one for our adoption, too.

For a $20 donation you can pick your place on the map; where do you think Baby Salonen will be born?  The person(s) who choose(s) the birthplace (or closest to it) wins a prize (it probably won't be a new car, or anything, but...).  Our goal is to get 500 pins on the map, meaning we would raise $10,000 towards our total adoption fundraising goal of $35,000!  It's a big goal so we need your help! We would love if you participated with us!

You can donate through the PayPal button on our blog (see the right sidebar), or if you prefer to send a check directly to us you can always do that. You DO NOT have to sign up for a PayPal account to donate through them. You can enter as a guest and use your own personal credit/debit card if you like. 

However you choose to donate, please be sure to include what city(ies) and state(s) you think Baby Salonen will be born in.  On PayPal, use the "Special Instructions" space to provide your geographic information.  If you decide to send a check, please go ahead and email us with your geographic locations.

We will be keeping a digital Google map (check it out in the sidebar) and dropping a pin on each city guessed.  Hey, did we mention you can guess more than one location?

One big question on everyone's mind as we ask for your financial help in this process is, "Where the heck is this money going? Are you essentially buying a baby?" Well the answer is "No! Adoption costs cover a wide range of things and baby buying is not one of them."  Take a look below to gain a better idea of where the money we raise will go:

U.S. Newborn Adoption  - Average Cost

Homestudy fee	$1,912
Agency application & program fee	$14,161
Attorney fees	$3,548
Document preparation & authentication	$1,114
Advertising/networking	$2,017
Birth family counseling	$1,085
Birthmother expenses	$3,076
Travel expenses	$2,198
All other expenses	$4,682
TOTAL	$33,793

Learn more about adoption costs here!

Sending a check?  Please email us, and we will send you our address (if you don't already have it).

Sending geographic locations?  Please use the "Special Instructions" space on PayPal, or email us.

Thank you so much for helping us bring home our baby!

With faith, love and a little bit of your help,
Andy and Mimi 

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy.” 
– Proverbs 13:12

Everything You Wanted to Know: The Adoption FAQ

Welcome Back!

We have had lots of support and prayer since making our adoption announcement so thank you!  There have also been a lot of questions about the process.  What better way to answer those questions than a handy dandy FAQ for you. Enjoy!  

Where are you adopting from, and how old will the child be?
Andy and I are doing a domestic infant adoption. About 135,000 children are adopted in the United States each year. Of non-stepparent adoptions, about 59 percent are from the child welfare (or foster) system, 26 percent are from other countries, and 15 percent (or roughly 19,000 cases) are voluntarily relinquished American babies.

So will your baby be born in Colorado?
We are open to adopting from anywhere in the United States, although each state has different adoption laws. There could be all sorts of situations we encounter, but we do know that unless our baby is born right here in Colorado, we will go to where they are born.  We will stay with our baby in that state until the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) is cleared from both states and then come home!

How long will it be till you have a baby?
The average waiting period for this exciting journey is anywhere from nine months to one year, it could be shorter, or longer though.

Where are you at in the process?
We are currently in the process of completing our home study.  An agency licensed by the Colorado Department of Human Services conducts and facilitates this process to ensure we can be suitable parents and meet certain state and agency requirements.  This process should be complete in two to three months, and then we can begin being matched with our baby and birth parents. This is such a unique process for each baby and family that we really can't speak to how it will play out.  We don't know how our story will be written. We could be matched with a birth mom who has weeks to go, or we may not know we are parents until after our baby is born; we aren't closing any doors right now.

Do you want an open or closed adoption?
We are hoping for an open adoption.  However, that term can mean a lot of things so we really can't answer what that will look like for our family until we are matched.

How much does it cost to adopt?
The average cost for a domestic adoption is between $25,000- $35,000.  This was probably our biggest hesitation when thinking about adoption. However, when we stepped back and thought it through, it seemed ridiculous that God would lead us to this point and then not provide us with resources to go the distance. So we prayed, and we have peace that we will be able to raise the money we need!

Hopefully this was helpful and answered some of the questions out there.  Look for a followup post soon; we will give you some ideas on how you can continue supporting this adventure we are on.  

With love and gratitude,
Andy & Mimi 

For I Know the Plans

Since I haven't posted in awhile, let me start with some big fun news...

We are adopting a baby! 

Bam! We are so excited, and we want you to be excited with us. This is a time for celebration indeed!

Oh where, oh where is our baby to be...

There is a big part of me that wants to start the story there; to not invite people into the first part, mostly in fear that this decision to adopt will be looked on as second best. There is this guilt that by talking about the bad, I'm giving the good the short end of the stick. But that's my mind playing tricks on me because doesn't knowing the full story make the happy ending that much sweeter? It's why people watch the whole movie, or read the whole book.  When you know what someone has gone through, triumph is that much more exceptional.

So, here is a little bit of our story and struggle that led us on the path of adoption. Even before we got married, Andy and I talked about adoption. With my health stuff we didn't know if it would be possible for me to carry a baby. As we started preparing our hearts to be parents, I started investigating what it would take: seeking professional opinions from my Cystic Fibrosis doctors and following other CF mom's stories through blogs and groups. My heart became so full as my doctors were on board, and so many of the stories I read were so positive. People whose lung function was actually much worse than mine had normal pregnancies. All these fears I had were being put to rest one by one. With that being said, Andy and I began praying and trying to make a baby.

After about six months with no baby in my belly, I went in for a couple tests to make sure everything was working properly. The doctor called about a week later and said he had some bad news.  My FSH level (follicle-stimulating hormone) was extremely high, which indicated I had a condition called Premature Ovarian Failure. He explained that for someone my age the level should be at about a five while someone who was going through menopause would be at a 12.  My level was a 96!  He told me how sorry he was and that Andy and I should definitely see a fertility specialist. We immediately scheduled an appointment, though we were prepared to hear from him that our chances of having a baby biologically would be very low. As we sat in the doctor's office, he confirmed what we already knew, there was really no way of us conceiving a baby on our own.  Moreover, they didn't know why this had happened to me. He said he'd be happy to talk to us and walk us through fertility treatment options, but he could tell we didn't seem too interested in that idea. It was instantaneous in that moment that God fully opened our hearts to adoption.

                                                                       

So we jumped right in!  Adoption was not our original idea, but that doesn't make it second best by any means. There is this funny little verse: Jeremiah 29:11.  It says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." That is the verse that we remember when our road changes direction. Our God is for us, not against us. It has been so amazing to see God working in this story so far. As we pray about our baby and adoption, Christ continues to keep Andy and I aligned in so many important ways. Since we started this journey, we have been beyond amazed at how natural everything has progressed.  Truly it seems this was the plan all along. So please join us in praying for our family as we start this adventure of adoption! We are soooo excited!

Thank you to our families for your support!  We are also incredibly grateful for our sweet friends, Chris, Shelley, and baby Liv for encouraging us with their story as well as connecting us to our amazing adoption consultant, Susan.  We also must thank Jordan for making us look as purdy as a landscape.  Oh, and are you wondering where that sweet map came from?  It was one of those old school classroom maps (before we went digital)!  Thanks to Lorynda from LifeBridge for letting us borrow it!  Please continue visiting the blog as we promise to be better bloggers and keep this site updated. :)

With so much love, joy, thanksgiving and hopefully a new baby soon :)

Andy + Mimi + Frank + 1

"That which I refuse to thank Christ for, I refuse to believe Christ can redeem." 

- Ann Voskamp

Blinded by the Light

Dear Online Fans,

We haven't spoken in a long time-- like over a year, what happened? I thought this was going to be an ongoing relationship- why did you fail me? I need you more than you need me and I think you knew that and you took advantage of the situation-- I'm not saying I'm going to hold it against you I'm just saying I know. So let's move on....

The small stuff is the big stuff really so let me start by saying, I got new glasses.

Impressed?  I was-- by the clear crisp lines of the world. Seriously, faces have expressions, signs have words, and most importantly, roads have lines. Truly the world is a new place. And because I can't just appreciate something at face value I started thinking about the symbolism behind seeing things (very literally) clearly.

 I'm lucky enough to be able to afford an eye exam and a hot new pair frames and it still took me roughly four years to get myself to make the switch-- and because of my birth lottery ('Merica/1st world country) I knew that blurry vision could easily be corrected and that the world wasn't supposed to move in blob like shapes. So what's the flip side to that? What if where you were born wasn't privileged to Lenscrafters and no one ever checked your eyes and you always thought that things were blurry five feet from your face and that's just how the world looked. Would it change how you thought of things; of beauty? of precision? of correlation? of fear?  I don't even really have that big of an impairment -- and I have access to like three Lenscrafters-- and yet each of these things looked differently through my new lenses. You can imagine how beauty might change if you can't see the creases on your face or how I was more fearful when driving because I could never really see the road ahead.

*Run on sentence warning ahead. ----There is also that whole thought of how do we instigate peace with the world when what we think we are presenting is peace because that is what we see it as but the other side is looking through their own lens and what we show them as peace doesn't look anything like peace and so they counter offer with their vision of peace and to us that looks nothing like peace because we have our own glasses on so we argue and fight instead of trying to put on each others glasses. But that is a whole other story.

But what I have is today, so I celebrate the details in God's creation -- because today I can see them.

With laughter and joy,

Mimi


**Author note-- I've changed the name of my blog and the web address. Although the Salonen's have many adventures --setbacks in life tend to have the better story-- at least that's how my life plays out :) So update your book marks -- haha --wait I mean bookmark this page and follow me.
www.ourtemporarysetbacks.blogspot.com